When forming opinions, an individual can often become snared within the contradictions of his/her myriad beliefs. Going into a situation with the best of intentions to be honest and accurate can often offer little protection from this hazard. This arises from the various shades of gray that a given situation may demand of a moral judgment. Caught between ideals and practicality can often push reasonable individuals to avoid the strain of reconciling disparate views within their own doctrines. As a result, all too often such reasonable people avoid voicing strong, sustained voices on an issue, leaving the debate wholly to the zealot. Within the hands of these inheritors there is no real debate or resolution as passions devour reason or on the other end of the spectrum, logic smothers empathy.
I thought a good deal about how to begin this experiment in self reflection by way of public display. The blog often seems to me like a journal written knowingly for breathless voyeurs. The writer makes a show of being open with the audience, but all too often it all seems so very calculating. Do not misinterpret my observation for some misguided claim of being above it all. Instead let me state plainly my goals.
I am doing this to use you, to use this medium, for me.
Those who know me may be aware that I suffer from a rather persistent malady. I am nearly always thinking, arguing really, within the echoing caverns of my own mind. When I engage in a worthwhile conversation with someone, the reason why I am able to be so involved and enthusiastic stems from the reality of having had the conversation within my own head at some point. I examine, reexamine and then craft my arguments over and over again for issues that sometimes never come up with those whom I encounter.
These sorts of mental push-ups are helpful for my work in education. In the classroom, I can easily spin lectures whole cloth with little written preparation. My classes can adapt to the needs of the students for that day, and while I do reuse material and ideas, the presentation changes each time. While this preoccupation has its advantages, it is often grating, as I can never seem to let an issue or argument go in my mind. So while the classroom will always be a good intellectual outlet for me, I require more.
This is not to say that I lack for intelligent discourse with the people in my life. I consider myself blessed with a good number of truly gifted and intellectual people in my life, who challenge me on a regular basis. However, what I need is more than just discussion. What I need is discipline.
I have all these ideas, all these thoughts, and for the most part, they sit fallow within the confines of my mind. I have let my intellectual and creative impulses slowly wither as I have managed to skate by. So in truth, a large part of my motivation to do this is to make myself do it. I need to commit to a constant intellectual exercise. I make no promises as to the frequency of my contributions or even to some vague idea of their duration. My goal is to explore some idea, some issue, some thought, at least once each week. The watching eyes of the audience shall be my jailers, pressing their weight upon my back to force effort from me.
What this effort shall not be is a space for me to speak about the common minutia of my life or life in general. I think the discourse of the internet is already choked with inane commentary, imbuing all of the most insignificant events with gravitas. I won’t come here to speak about my personal problems, though such may prove a starting point, as will my observations. My goal is to deal with a topic each week, taking multiple weeks if said issue warrants such.
Thus we are returned to the beginning and to the title. Axioms. What I think, what I believe, what I act upon, are informed by the core tenants of my belief. I do my best to avoid qualification and contradiction in my stances by holding fast to core principles that I can defend through argumentation. Often, this makes me come off as judgmental to others, and I apologize for making you feel as if I am judging you. In truth, you are not far off the mark. I do judge. However, I judge no one as harshly as I judge myself. I hold no one to a higher standard than I hold myself. I shame no one as much as I shame myself. I am a Catholic after all.
It is possible that there are those among the audience who will hold their own opinions on whichever subject I explore, and they will wish to offer such thoughts in the comments section. You may do so if you wish, but please understand I may not value your opinion. Once again, this can come down to basic axioms. If the basic building blocks of your argument are ones which I cannot abide, I see no need to flatter you with giving the false impression that I find your position valid. All positions are not valid.
It may seem that all this is some claim that I have all the answers. The truth is far from such, because in fact part of the motivation for this effort is to look for answers for myself. Docendo Discimus.
The theme music for Prof. Murder.
